St. Anthony the Abbot Catholic Church

When we find someone doing evil, especially if their sin is hurting us, we automatically want to act like the Pharisees - to condemn the sinner as well as the sin. But the fact is we really don't know the whole story, only God does. We don't have the right to judge our neighbors, because we can't see their heart. We need to give them the benefit of the doubt, just as we do with ourselves: we condemn our sinful actions, but we give ourselves another chance. That's a practical application of our Lord's command to love our neighbor as ourselves. But that takes a paradigm shift, a change of mentality. To love them as ourselves we have to see them as we see ourselves, think of them with the same generosity with which we think of ourselves.

Imagine you're in an airport. While you're waiting for your flight, you notice a kiosk selling shortbread cookies. You buy a box, put them in your traveling bag, and sit down next to a gentleman to wait for your flight. While waiting, you reach down into your traveling bag and pull out your box of shortbread cookies. As you do so, you notice that the gentleman starts watching you intensely. He stares as you open the box and his eyes follow your hand as you pick up the cookie and bring it to your mouth. Just then he reaches over and takes one of your cookies from the box and eats it! You're more than a little surprised at this. Actually, you're at a loss for words. Not only does he take one cookie, but he alternates with you. For every one cookie you take, he takes one.

What's your immediate impression of this guy? Crazy? Greedy? He's got some nerve! Meanwhile, you both continue eating the cookies until there's just one left. To your surprise, the man reaches over and takes it.

But then he does something unexpected. He breaks it in half, and gives half to you. After he's finished with his half he gets up, and without a word, he leaves.

You're left sitting there dumbfounded and still hungry. So, you go back to the kiosk and buy another box of cookies. You then return to your seat and begin opening your new box of cookies when you glance down into your traveling bag. Sitting there in your bag is your original box of cookies -- still unopened. At that point you realize that when you reached down earlier, you had reached into the other man's bag and grabbed his box of cookies by mistake.

Now what do you think of the man? Generous? Tolerant? You've just experienced a profound paradigm shift. You are seeing things from a new point of view. That's what we need if we are to learn to condemn the sin but not the sinner. We need a supernatural paradigm shift, a change of mentality, so that we automatically give others the same benefit of the doubt that we give ourselves.